I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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