I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
