even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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