Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
