Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
