i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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