Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
