Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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