quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
