he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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