guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize