Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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