i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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