also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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