Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize