i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
