Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
