I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
