What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
