she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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