I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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