Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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