: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
