So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize