Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Jerry, you need to find god
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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