I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
