reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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