the condom got lost in my hair
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize