what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
