I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
They took my balls.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize