I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize