i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
