I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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