where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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