the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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