i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
