Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize