You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
