one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
