He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
