apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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