Welp...herpes.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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