I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I am available for nakedness
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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