Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize