Christians are straight up FREAKS
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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