i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
