Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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