Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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