Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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