I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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