okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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