New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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