i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
