i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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