Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
