my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
