I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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