It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize