dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
