Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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