Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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