what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
