i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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