I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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