I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
