now i know why i became what i already was.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
