I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize