too bad you live with your parents still
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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