sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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