You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
