took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
