He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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