I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
