I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
